that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports And now, the Superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.The Bible According to Kids It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.Church Bulletins A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Could you see him from where you were standing? A: I could see his head. Q: And where was his head? A: Just above his shoulders.English Misuse in Signs On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."Family Feud Q: Name a kind of ache. A: Fillet 'O' Fish.Foreign Brands Skinababe (baby cleanser, Japan)Instruction Labels On a packet of Sunmaid Raisins: "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?"Newspaper Headlines Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping NeedyOn the Beat "In God we trust, all others we run NCIC."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Things Kids Say (Regarding how a person learns to kiss) "You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls." In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.What the Doctors Wrote The patient refused an autopsy.Young Scientists All animals were here before mankind. The animals lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms. |