that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.The Bible According to Kids Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.Church Bulletins Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"Courtroom Bloopers Q: Did he kill you?English Misuse in Signs On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."Family Feud Q: Name a part of the body beginning with 'N'. A: Knee.Foreign Brands Zit (lemon-lime soft drink, Greece)Instruction Labels On a frozen dinner: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."Newspaper Headlines L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By LandslideOn the Beat "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."School Excuse Notes Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.Things Kids Say (Regarding how does a person decide whom to marry?) "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.What the Doctors Wrote The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.Young Scientists One hydrogin martini, hold the water. |